The Flooding of God Over Me

I have not written on this blog in a long time and that's because of a few reasons. One, is that I have so much going on in my mind and my heart that I don't know how to put it all down.  Two, I really haven't had much time to do this type of writing, between journaling and ministry and life.  Seriously, we have found that, if possible, we could do ministry 24/7.  There is so much opportunity!  And finally, I know when I write on this blog it is mainly for me.  I know everyone has a busy life and so many things compete for our attention.  So when I write on this blog, I guess it is pretty much for me to have a log every once in a while to look back on, but I sure am encouraged whenever anyone wants to read what I have written.

I know this morning, my spirit wants to boast of God!  In fact, I should get in the habit of daily taking the time to just write down what I have heard from God and what I see Him doing.  I hope I can begin to get into this discipline.  It will be a lot of writing though, because anymore I see Him doing so much! Where in the world to begin??  How do I condense all I have in my heart from Him to just this small space?  Well, I will try my best.  "Lord, please give me your words to convey how amazing you are in what I have seen you do, recently."

Let me preface by saying that this year, God has shared with me to mainly stick to reading and studying and meditating on His Word.  I still read (cause I absolutely love it!), but minimally for now.  Also, He has worked in me the desire to ask and believe Him for great faith in Him! To really believe what He promises and what He is able to do!  He has also taught me to look at my life from His perspective, to live according to what His Word says why He created me.  To surrender my day each morning to Him and ask for His plans for the day.  Then to be sensitive to what I have asked Him for. I want to outlive my life!  I want to share the good news of Jesus' desire to save!  The best news on the planet!  I want to make disciples!  I want to live for what He created me to be!  I want to be used, to be spent for the gospel!  I want to see Him move mightily!  I want to see Him do miracles to bring Him honor to Himself!

I have been in awe and adoration of what I have seen Him do this past year!  As we have prayed for God to show us who He is drawing to Himself, He has shown us some.  Yesterday, we got to listen to two testimonies of two Chinese visiting scholars and how God drew them to Himself in America.  They had had seeds planted about ten years ago by ELIC teachers in China and along the way, and now they get to go back to China as followers of Jesus!  Excited about sharing the Truth with others around them!  They intend to be very pro active, as they have been discipled and are ready to serve God in China!  In the last month, we have seen many new Chinese come to church.  As we prayed and asked God to direct our steps to more Chinese relationships, He directed us to go to a small house church that's very international and strong in missional living.  How cool is that?  It's been SO good for us to be a part of this strong body, and a great way for all of us to build relationships with intention.  We all realize that we have windows of time, as most of these Chinese and other internationals are only here for a year.

So how can I find the adequate words to convey all that I have been honored to see God do in me and around me this last year?  I can't, but I will do my best...again.  I can't believe that God had this plan for my life!  I can't believe that I get to each day talk to and listen to God!  I can't believe that I get to see Him move in miraculous ways!  I can't believe that He has worked an increasing desire in me to do this work for Him!  I can't believe how He has grown my faith in Him!  God's Word says, "with man it is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible."  I believe this!  I finally believe this!  Even in all of the challenges that doing full time missions has, I am humbled, honored and grateful that I get to do this in the life that God gave to me!  He is way beyond worth it!

The Goodness of the Lord

I found this drawing and it spoke so sweetly to my soul.  It's because it expresses all that I have been feeling lately in my love relationship with my sweet Savior.

I have never been so much in love with Him and hungered for His presence more.  

He has brought me to this place and I am filled with great JOY and GRATITUDE!

He is faithful and has held me close as I have navigated through several tribulations this past year.  I've felt His great love and compassion as He has gently lead me through the wilderness.     

He's taught me to know that my natural slide into bitterness and anger could be caught by His rescuing hand of grace, then transformed into a state of mind that could only come from Him.  He's reminded me that sometimes He allows me to come face-to-face with an experience that could potentially breed bitterness, just so I can see His ability to work miracles in the way I feel.  He chose to do this with His Word in Isaiah, "You keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You."  As the Holy Spirit continued to bring this Truth to my mind, I have repeatedly prayed it over myself.  How miraculous it is to me that God's Word is living and true and it has transformed me!  I do have perfect peace when my mind is fixed on Him.

So, now when I am standing as the children of Israel, my feet planted in a place I don't really want to be....camping out in a location I'd rather be seeing in my rearview mirror, I will not waste what God is developing in me in the wilderness.  I will stay put until I am living a fully committed life with Jesus, and it is what I want more than anything.   I will camp there and I will look up and see Him in all His splendor and glory.  Being wonderfully astounded again and again at His goodness, His power, and His Holiness.  And I will remember that I am His child, I am holy and I am loved by Him! And someday soon, I am hopeful that He will take my face tenderly in His hands, just like the drawing... it's my greatest longing!

What do you think of, when you hear the word miracle?  The first thought I have, is God. In my heart and mind, God is the creator of genuine miracles.  Recently, in my life, I have been asking Him for a miracle.  Professing my love for Him and my desire to see Him move! Well, yesterday, He answered that yearning! Right before my eyes, I watched Him perform a miracle!  Let me tell you about it. 

Two months ago, we went to a picnic with other campus missionaries and a bunch of students. We all met together at the amphitheater park in Cary for their Fourth of July celebration.  Two Chinese visiting scholars sat near Glenn and I and instantly, God gave us friendship.  

After that picnic, our team had another picnic at a nearby lake and invited about 20 Chinese friends. Only one of these two young woman joined us with the others. It was a wonderful day of fun and fellowship and it was at that picnic that Jia Rei asked us if she could go with us to church the next day.  

She went with us, and afterwards we had lunch together. We talked about the message we had heard, and our families and then we asked her if she had any spiritual beliefs. She said she hadn't, that her mother was muslim and her father was nothing. She met us at church the following Sunday and was intently listening to the message.  As we walked to the car, the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask her if anyone had ever explained Christianity to her.  She said "no" and she said that she wanted to know. So we asked her if she would like to do a Bible study and get her questions answered, and she said "yes". The following week, she came to our home and we began the six week study that we brought back from China. It was created by one of our fellow workers in our organization and it is written in both English and Chinese.

As we began sharing with her, we felt that she was curious. Knowing she had only a month before she returned home, we asked God to help us finish this study well with her in the short time that we had to complete it.  He did and when she came to our home yesterday, for some reason because she was late and she was leaving the following day...we just figured in our finite mind that we would finish it the best we could and they would be seeds planted and she would leave.  But, God of course had other plans.  He had been working in this young woman's heart more that we knew and when we finished and asked her if she could believe this...she smiled and said "yes". We were surprised!  I asked her if before she came to America, she had been curious and wondering about God and she said "yes" again. She had a huge smile on her face and we knew that God had certainly been drawing her to himself!  Glenn then asked her if she wanted to pray and confess her sinfulness to God and receive Him as Savior, and she said "yes". Not only that though, she said that she was thinking about how she could ask us to do this and become a Christian!  We were blown away by what God had been doing and was doing in this young woman.  How He knew that He would use us when we met her just two months before.  How He let us be a part of His salvation plan for Jia Rei!  We were so moved, so thankful, so humbled!

Please pray for her! Please pray that as we attempt to get her connected to some of our mature believing Chinese friends in Beijing. God has a plan for her, and naturally we wanted to have more time to disciple her.  But this was God's plan and He brought her to this point and He will continue to carry out His plan for her.  She is excited and she understands, as she refers to herself as a "baby Christian.  She is a mother and a wife, so her desire is that her husband and her son also become Christians. She left today with two Bibles, one from our team mate that is bilingual and a small purse sized one in Chinese only. We also gave her a picture Bible to read to her son.  

I am so thankful to God! We have been praying to bear fruit as we abide in Him and also I have been praying habitually for a miracle! I have had this great hunger to see God move in a mighty way that only He can! I have wanted more of Him as never before! He graciously gave us both and He knows how encouraged we are to continue on.  

Thank you, most precious Father.  The One and Only miracle-worker!

God as Redeemer: Replacing Loss with Something Only He Can Give

Have you discovered that God wants to redeem things that you never dreamed possible?

Well, I have embarked on that discovery and I believe it is one of the most beautiful and

touching things about God.  I am understanding that this is nothing less than solid

evidence of His love for me, so it changes my perspective of things I believe I

had lost.  I also believe, knowing the character and faithfulness of God, that I will see

possibilities in my life like never before.

Time and again in His Word God shows His redemption.  And because He has already

redeemed the most important things in my life.  He has redeemed me from hell, from second

death, from condemnation, from sin. His words cause me to be expectant and hopeful about

what God can do in situations of extreme loss.

In Isaiah, He asks, "Is My hand shorted that it cannot redeem?"  And in the book of

Jeremiah, He says, "I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked and I will redeem

you from the grip of the terrible".  So I know that no matter what has been lost or

stolen in my life, God will restore it in some way.    In Psalm 34, God tells me that

He redeems the soul of His servants.  Of course it's always in His time and His way,

but I know that there will come a point when I no longer feel the pain of certain losses.

The Lord has shown me lovingkindness and tender mercies.  In all things, I worship Him

as my God and my Savior, my Protector and my Deliverer and my Redeemer! His praise is

always on my lips no matter what the circumstances, because He has graciously showed me

that He alone knows how to repair and rebuild no matter how much damage has occurred.

I am confident that I will never experience any loss so great that He cannot restore or redeem

it in some way.

Lord, thank you for loving me so great that You desire to restore my life in every way.

Redeem me and revive me according to Your Word. (Psalm 119:154).  Draw near to my

soul, and redeem it.  (Psalm 69:18)  Redeem me and be merciful to me.  (Psalm 26:11)

Thank you for all the redemption You have already worked in my life, please continue

to redeem my life in ways I never dreamed possible. I proclaim that You alone, God, are

the God of Impossibilities!  You are Faithful.

Useful in His Hands

1 Peter 4 says that Christ suffered "according to the will of God".  For me, it's predominately the last 2 years that I've been able to better understand what God is after in His dealings with me, in my sufferings.  Of course, at the time of what God was putting me through, I had no understanding of what God was doing and why He was allowing it.  Do we ever?  It has only been by His grace and my chasing after Him in chunks of solidarity....craving His voice... that I am able to know and understand why He has allowed certain suffering in my life.  God has strengthened me as no other time in my life.  He has supernaturally transformed me to more intentionally live for Him.  He has made known His Lordship over my life and what His desires are for me and He has loved me so sweetly.

Hoping each day that I live with His divine perspective planted in my heart.  I am basking in His love for me that He would do this in my life.  I am so thankful that I am on the other side of those sufferings in some sense.  I am so thankful that He chose me to be His bond-servant. it's the only true way to really live! Containing His Joy and having the honor of reflecting Him!  He has taught me how to live with contentedness where I am... to view this life as saints that have gone before me and carrying a quiet longing for Him as I journey nearer to that time.  I really DO love my Savior with all of my heart, mind and strength and I will serve Him all the days of my life.  How could I not?  He has given me peace that surpasses all understanding.

I WANT RENEWED

I want God to deliver me!  I want to be renewed this year.  I want God to change my emotions, attitudes, and patterns of thought.  I want Him to take all of the pain endured the last couple of years and turn them into beautiful praise for Him!  I want Him to pour out His Spirit upon me and make my heart open to receive all He has for me.  I want Him to make my mind clear so I can better understand His Word.  I am humbly asking Him to refresh, enrich, enlighten, free, fulfill, and HEAL me.  That He will breathe life into the dead areas of my existence.  That He will infuse me with His power and His JOY!  I am asking Him to fill my empty places, liberate me from bondage, take away my fears and doubts, grow my faith, and give me the pearl of great price: PEACE.

For now, I am praising and worshipping Him, no petitions, just that He would do a mighty work in me!  Simply  basking in His love and tenderness for me.  My heart wants to express my utter dependence on Him, my total submission to Him.   David spoke of praising God constantly.  He said, "I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." Psalm 34:1.  I want to do this, I want this great blessing.  I want to really seek the LORD my God, and I am told in His Word that if I seek Him with all my heart and with all of my soul I will find Him.  I want this!  My spirit is longing for Him in a new way! John 4:23 tells me, "The hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him".  He wants to reveal Himself, His glory, and His power to those who look to Him.  What a treasure, I want this treasure!  My heart and my spirit are longing for Him to fill it.

I am asking God to revive me, to ignite my God-given passion for HIM!  I want Him to be my focus and experience His love so abundantly!  When I am praising God, the tornados of life will still swirl around me, but I believe that I will see God move on my behalf.  I understand the hidden power of praise.  It's not me saying, "I'll give it everything I've got, and the Lord will bless it," but rather it's the Lord saying, "You just bless My name, and I'll give it everything I have."  It's His character.  He wants my love and my worship and praise, oh He deserves this and so much more.  In only Praise and Worship of Him, this is my dwelling place for now.  I want His kindling afresh and His JOY overflowing!  "As the deer panteth after water, so my soul panteth after You!

 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.”   Psalm 91:1-2

Sometimes a Song Says It Perfectly!

This beautiful song by Big Daddy Weave,
Every time I listen,
I am singing these very words.
To set the tone for future blogging, I think this is fitting.
Because,  I "Could Not Have Said Any Better."

If I told you my story
You would hear Hope that wouldn't let go
And if I told you my story
You would hear Love that never gave up
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life, but it wasn't mine

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long