My Father's Power

I believe in the Father's power in my life and I believe everything in His Word.  It is a wellspring of life to my spirit!  

It is food for my soul and I need to be immersed in it as much as I am able!
I love its transforming power in me and how when I ask the Father for something in my life that is also His desire, He will give it to me.

I have over the years asked Him for contentment in all things and I believe with all of my heart that He is mightily working this in me.
  
I have learned to focus on Him and what I am to Him and not the world around me. 

I have learned to want what He wants and not what I want.

I am learning the importance of joyful obedience to Him and wanting to please Him instead of my flesh. 

I am learning to be aware of self pity and those dark places the evil one would want me to go. 

I have learned that I want to live more for eternity than for this temporary world that will pass away.

I am learning to ask Him to give me His eyes and not be mislead by what I see.  

I have learned that my Father is faithful in everything and deserves my all.

The Father's steady confirmation

I haven't been able to blog my "30" for a couple days....
I won't try to catch up since it's really only for me and
I will give myself some grace...again!
Today I am thinking of China alot and want to
thank God for "20" things regarding us going to China:

1.  Father's ONGOING Confirmation that this is His guidance for Glenn and I.

2.  Able to read many articles about Father's increasing harvest in China!

4.  Never expecting this in our lifetime, but knowing that Father will equip us for what He has
     guided us to do!

5.  Everyday that I feel too weak to be able to do this is good because I know that Father is my
     STRENGTH and He will supply everything I need at the perfect time.

6.  Seeing and being AMAZED and in SO MUCH AWE at Father's raising up our partners to
     be in this with us!!!!  HOW ENCOURAGING AND HUMBLING!

7.  Having the support of our families!

8.  Father's gift of Chinese friends here before we even go!  Their fellowship and encouragement
     are unbelievable to me.

9.  Having American friends and Xueni in China that can help us know what to take to China
     and what we can leave behind.

10.Father giving us the ability to know SOME Mandarin!

11.Getting to live in another culture for a time and learn alot about it!

13.Having the WORD Everyday that gives me strength, hope and faith!

14.Thankful that Father has given me a deep desire to volunteer at an orphanage in China!

15.Seeing dear little Asian babies there.

16.Getting to build relationships with students since we will live on campus.

17.Honored that we will have opportunities to share Jesus with some that don't even know who He is.

18.Eating lots of Chinese food!

19.Total DEPENDENCE on Father now and in China!

20.Seeing Father move in some of the student's hearts!.

Praise Father

Blessings, blessings all around.
Anywhere you look they can be found.

1.  Seeing Father raise up our wonderful partners for China!
2.  A smooth day at work.
3.  Wonderful dinner with amazing friends that love the Father so much!
4.  Email from Xueni
5.  Chatting with patients at work
6.  Buying great tasting apples today at .88 a lb.
7.  Selling our piano
8.  Getting Christmas cards
9.  Knowing my children and their spouses read the Bible together!
10.Seeing them pursue Father
11.Making my hubby laugh
12.Hearing anyone laugh
13.Making a baby laugh
14.Knowing baby Leo is going to be okay
15.Christmas music through the day
16.Caramel gelato
17.Anticipating "The Hobbit" movie next week.
18.Listening to Philippians on my phone
19.Looking at our Nativity
20.Cute Christmas movies
21.Opportunites to talk about Jesus
22.Playing the piano
23.Seeing Father's faithfulness EVERYDAY!
24.Learning Mandarin
25.Ramen noodles
26.Cooking a new recipe
27.Being equipped by Father.
28.Loving on people
29.Making things.
30.Praying Living Words over my life and over others!

God's Handiwork

I am thankful for what God has artistically made:

1.  babies

2.  snowflakes

3.  laughter

4.  families

5.  trees

6.  birds

7.  flowers

8.  plants

9.  the moon

10. the sun

11. the ocean

12.  races of people

13. sand

14. dogs

15. fish

16. leaves

17. the church

18. fruit

19. vegetables

20. grass

21. deer

22. music

23. clouds

24. angels

25. countries

26. the sky

27. heaven

28. the earth

29. seasons

30. the rain

keeping it simple

Today is grey
and I will say
keepin it simple
it's just that way...

30 "thankfuls" for today:

1.  fleece pants

2.  sweaters

3.  vanilla latte

4.  Glenn's deer jerky

5.  soft soothing music

6.  Glenn's kisses

7.  recipes with pictures

8.  making surprises

9.  fun socks

10. more China partners

11. celebrating with Cara having her own office at work

12. taco for lunch with Glenn

13. thinking of soups I want to make and freeze for cold days

14. warm blankets

15. thin mint cookies

16. fruit flavored green tea

17. having women's prayer tonite

18. a sweet text from a friend

19. Christmas lights

20. smell of a candle burning

21. our Willowtree Nativity

22. warm boots

23. scarves

24. a great book

25. I Heard the Bells by Casting Crowns, Christmas Song

26. M&M's

27. Old movies

28. my morning alarm with the sound of crickets in the morning

29. doing caligraphy

30. sitting still and closing my eyes for a bit

December of Thanksgiving

I am starting December's 30 thanksgivings a day late, 

no matter, I will add another day on and end Jan. 1st.

I have a lot of different things floating in my mind to

be thankful for right now, but I think I'll go with the

godly characteristics I have seen most recently

in friends, in my life:

1.  First one HAS to be the way I see many of these dear ones pursuing their love

     relationship with Jesus!

2.  Their humility, this is by far a most amazing imitation of Christ Jesus that He calls us to be like Him.

3.  Their love and the evidence of that.

4.  Their sacrifices.

5.  Their soft heart towards the things of Jesus.

6.  Their desire to be in right standing before the Lord.

7.  Their hospitality.

8.  Their passion for God's Word.

9.  Their passion for the lost.

10. Their desire to look around them for other's needs before their own.

11. Their desire to share.

12. Their trustworthiness

13. Their generosity

14. Their kindness 

15. Their teachable spirit

16. Their sensitivity

17. Their encouragement

18. Their understanding of confidentiality

19. Their faith in Christ Jesus

20. Their godly counsel

The last ten things are some of what I am thankful for in the last two days:

1.  Having Saturday dinner at friends before the church meeting.

2.  A church meeting I will never forget and very thankful for.

3.  Having a new Chinese friend for lunch and games today.

4.  Having Sunday dinner at friends

5.  The love of true friends that I see Jesus' reflection in.

6.  Talking to my daughter

7.  Aleve D that took a nasty sinus headache away today

8.  Dollar General for "quick shopping"

9.  Enjoying my favorite cookie at Sunday School today, thanks to a friend!

10. Beginning to knit again

I AM MOST THANKFUL FOR GOD!

As I come to the end of this month of November, I feel compelled in my spirit to shout what's above:
"Thanks be to God!" For absolutely EVERYTHING!
So today I will list the first 25 things that come into my mind that I am most thankful for since receiving Jesus Christ as my LORD and SAVIOR!
The honored privileges He bestowed upon me when I became His Child.

1.  I am an heir to the Kingdom!

2.  He lives in me!

3.  I am a daughter of The King!

4.  He gave me the gift of the Holy Spirit as my Helper.

5.  I am saved by His grace.

6.  I can come to Him anytime and know that He is there.

7.  In Him, I have peace.

8.  He supplies all of my needs.

9.  He is FAITHFUL!

10. I am Sanctified.

11. I get to serve Him!

12. I am Justified.

13. I am Forgiven.

14. I have been dressed and equipped for supernatural living!

15. I have spiritual wealth.

16. He transforms and renews my mind.

17. He called me out of darkness into His Marvelous Light!

18. He gives me many PROMISES!

19. I am God's possession.

20. He loves me unconditionally.

21. He directs my steps.

22. He uses me for Him!

23. My citizenship is in Heaven.

24. He is TRUSTWORTHY!

25. He makes me Humble before Him!

I love God so much!  He is the only One who died for me and this is why I want to live for Him and not for me.

My heart loves to be in a thankful state

 A heart becomes what it is fed.
When I am consistently feeding my heart with God's Word, I am joyful!
So, today I am focusing on why I am so THANKFUL for this Book:

1.  The Bible is living and active.

2.  It judges my heart and my attitude.

3.  It guides

4.  It convicts

5.  It is from God to me

6.  It reveals God's character

7.  It is absolute TRUTH

8.  It's inspired by God

9.  It includes one plan of GRACE

10. It has the BEGINNING of creation and very specific features of the END planned by God.

11. It's full of history

12. It includes the establishment of the church

13. It gives me HOPE   

14. It's my guidebook through life.

15. It inspires me

16. It encourages me

17. I TRUST it

18. I revere it

19. It never returns void

20. It includes God's commands for me that are perfect, since they come from God.

21. It can never be exhausted.

22. It reveals a beautiful plan of redemption.

23. Full of wonderful promises

24. It increases my faith in GOD

25. It is a priceless treasure.





 

Another 25! Easy as Pie!

Second day of 25! No big deal, all around me I have so much to be thankful for:

1.  Seeing my hubby's face in the morning!

2.  Waking up today overflowing with JOY! It comes from my Father.

3.  A really good job to go to, with a great boss and wonderful co-workers.

4.  Sweet time to pray for my children, their spouses and my granddaughter.

5.  Wonderful email from me dear friend, Emily, that is already living in China.

6.  My iPhone that will be an amazing tool in China for translation and other things.

7.  WeChat App and Skype to talk for free and video chat with loved ones I really miss.

8.  My daughter's new paying, ministry job that is such an unbelievable gift from God.

9.  My son-in-law's slow but hopefully, sure recovery from a herniated disc.

10. Getting to share China with my hairdresser today.

11. Superfruit Green Tea

12. Finishing my first scarf on a knitting loom.

13. Listening to yet "another" message on Joy this morning.

14. God making me smile!

15. Having China night with Glenn tonite.  Love it!

16. Having a washer and dryer.

17. Having a car to drive.

18. Seeing on FB our dear friends with New Tribes, first baby pictures!  Baby Leo

19. Seeing their extreme love and faith in God as they trust Him in everything. The issue at hand
      being that their new little fella may need a pacemaker put in.

20. Having fun scaling down.

21. Getting challenged each day learning Chinese.

22. Remembering where God has brought me from and being overwhelmed with Thanksgiving.

23. Checking out recipes of goodies to make for Christmas.

24. Sharing my life with a true man of integrity that I love to pieces!

25. God guiding Glenn and I to something way bigger than ourselves that only HE can do through
      us.

One Thousand Gifts November/December

Last Year My Dear Daughter presented me with a wonderful gift that slowly THRUST me into Beginning Each Day in a state of Thankfulness!  I can share today that even with recent struggles that I have entailed, that I STILL have planted myself on doing a 360 and really seeing so much to be THANKFUL for!  So today I have given myself a DARE that should be a fun way to end 2012.  I will list 25 gifts for the next four days and in December I will list 30 gifts each day.  I have decided that not all will be spiritual, some will be SILLY and FUN and some will be SERIOUS and less FLEETING.  So here I go with the first TWENTY-FIVE.

Some of my gifts today:

1.  My work office being closed this week, so I can go in earlier in bummy clothes
    and get a lot done without too many interruptions.

2.  Good tasting bean coffee this morning.

3.  A heart laugh first thing this morning when I turned on the radio to WORD and once 
     again the message was on Phillipians!  For some reason God keeps bringing me to this
     book over and over again, lately.  Today I decided I need to ask Him what He wants me
     to do regarding this book.  (A few times I have had the thought of memorization....)

4.  Being totally in awe of the fresh falling snow this morning.  Eventually got out there
     before work to just "stand there."

5.  Love reading "Come Away My Beloved" in the morning...a sweet friend gave me this 
     treasure this year!

6.  Listened to K-Love this morning at work.

7.  Learning from the Holy Spirit to pray God's Word over myself more, and from that I
     have been so full of JOY the last few days!

8. Sat down later this afternoon to read a "Sparkling Gem" and my hubby came in and 
    presented me with my favorite drink of a PUMPKIN SPICED LATTE!   What a treat!

9.  Reflecting today of the precious time with sisters in prayer last night.  I love these 
     women, they are gifts to me.

10. WeChatted with Cara a little today.

11.  Really like working with two young ladies, Connie and Megan.  We have a ball 
      together at work!  

12. Finally finishing a two skein scarf today.

13. Seeing pictures of my family in my home make me SMILE!

14. Glenn got a deer and has begun the jerky process.  YUM!

15. Ate a really juicy Sunkist orange today.

16. Had fun putting together a package to send to California.

17. Having leftover crock pot stew for dinner.

18. Love listening to a variety of Christmas music.

19. God continues to stir me to memorize designated Scripture I believe He knows I 
      will need.

20.  Loving the fruit of recent answered prayers.

21. So thankful for what I learn from my daughter!  She challenges me and I love it.

22. Finding "Jesus" books I want to send to Madeline for Christmas.

23. Knowing that I just need to please God in my life.

24. Talking to a friend in China this morning.

25.  Colorful sunset out back tonite.

This is just in a ten hour period!  I could list more, but I will keep to my challenge for myself of One Thousand Gifts by the end of the year!

"Spiritually Exercising"

The previous few weeks have been an intense struggle.
I felt attacked from all sides and was miserable.
I was fearful, insecure and over-sensitive.
I was self-pitying, doubtful and confused.

I reached out to my dear sisters in Jesus and they
extended sweet grace and love to me.
I asked for much prayer and knew that they would lift me up.
Monday night prayer with some of these ladies was such 
a gift to me!

As I was reading the Word yesterday, God ordained that He
would speak to me of my issues at hand.
I opened my "Sparkling Gems" to find a title appropriate
for what I was enduring...."Exercise Thyself Unto Godliness"...
It is found in the verse I Timothy 4:7.
The Holy Spirit spoke to me that the reason I was struggling
so, was that I had become soft in my "exercising".
I had let the busyness of life squelch out my larger times of much NEEDED time with my Father!
How dare I! How dare I believe that I could get away with that and not have struggles.  
Especially at this time.
Nothing should be more important than my time in God's Word and meditating on it and my time seeking the Lord.
I need lots of equipping before I move to China.

My desire is that I put my whole heart and soul into developing myself to the maximum level that, with God, I am  able.

I want to exercise and exercise myself to the point of a fanatical devotion to God!

I want to take the things that are a struggle for me as an opportunity to stretch, develop, exercise and make myself stronger.

I am blessed to have amazing "sisters" including my daughter, that speak truth to me and come along side of me when I am so weak.

Top 10

TEN PLACES I WANT TO VISIT:

1.  China (since I will be moving there in 2013!)
2.  Germany
3.  Colorado (going there before going to China!)
4.  Israel
5.  Greece
6.  Rome
7.  Ontario 
8.  Ireland
9.  Spain
10.Portugal

No specific order, just places I would love to see!  Maybe someday God will take me to some of the remaining eight I have no plans for right now!   :)

AUTUMN WONDERLAND!

Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds.   (Psalm 148:7-10)

Along with sea creatures, lightning, hail, snow, clouds, stormy winds, mountains, hills, fruit trees, cedars, wild animals, cattle, small creatures and flying birds....I get to Praise God for His wondrous creation of brilliant colorful leaves this fall!! What an honor and a privilege I have.  I have loved taking our dog Scout out on these pretty days behind our house in the field.  It's so peaceful, so big and so serene.  I will think of these days when winter sets in and they will warm my heart!

Today I took my friend, Janice, with me on a walk in the field and we had wonderful conversation.  We shared some of our heart and laughed alot!  God has given us a gift of friendship and He has grown it into a godly one that I hope pleases Him.  We always pick up where we lift off and  it is though  we've never been apart.

Another part of Autumn that I truly love is when the sun is setting and there is a glow all around from the day's sunshine!  I light a candle that gives the house an apple smell and settle in for the night.

I am so thankful for this BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!  I love being a part of it.

Thank you Lord.

my address of faith

The whole eleventh chapter of Hebrews is about people who lived "in" faith, and my devotion last week gave me an additional perspective I never considered before.  It's the "in" part.  

Each man and woman mentioned in this chapter received a word from God for their lives.

Although it was difficult to do, they held tightly to their mandate from Heaven. 

FAITH was the location where they lived - and because they stayed in that place

where God had called them to be, they brought great pleasure to Him.

This is discipline: the only way to stay "in" faith is to keep my eyes 

fixed on Jesus!

The evil one is always trying to discourage me from being steadfast and faithful.

He is always orchestrating situations to make me take my eyes off Jesus

and to fill me with fear and doubt.

If I let the enemy's plan succeed, it won't be long before I pack my bags

and move "out" of faith to slum areas of defeat where I

will not please God.

I am determined each day to depend on God to never leave the address

of faith where God wants me to live!

I am diligently refusing to allow the evil one to fix my eyes on the

circumstances.  I will not take the enemy's path that leads me straight

"out" of faith!

When circumstances try to knock me "out" of faith, I am clinging to Jesus

and I have a fierce, unwavering commitment that I am not going to leave 

where God has called me.

I am making every effort I can to stay at my address of faith and I know I

am living in the most beneficial place for my life.  I am living where God

can bless me!

And without faith it is impossible to please Him; for he who comes to God

must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6

A Tribute to my Husband on our Anniversary

I don't have a perfect husband, but I do have God's perfect husband for me.
Today is our 28th year anniversary and I am thanking God for Glenn and celebrating our marriage
that He has preserved over these years together.  I have such respect for my husband and I have
learned so much from him over the years.   Without knowing it, he has taught me of grace, love,
forgiveness and unconditional love.  He is so kind and approachable and I am so proud to be
his wife.

He works hard (especially this last year with his day job and his responsibilities at church).
He always thinks the best of others and treats people kind, in a sweet way.
He is a man of integrity and humility, whether he is out or at home.

Each day is a blessing to be married to this man of God, and often he makes me feel like we are
still newlyweds!  Yep, I know I have God's best and I am truly thankful for that.  We are a great
threesome only because God is in the middle and He is what makes our marriage SO incredibly
wonderful!

I love you Glenn, HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Five Things (Linking up with the Marvelous Flight of Cara!)

Five Things I Still Want To Do:

1.  Be together in inner-city ministry with my children and their families.

2.  Memorize a book of the Bible.

3.  Knit on a small loom.

4.  Learn how to add personal touches to our/my blog.

5.  Share Jesus with every unsaved soul God brings my way.

These were the first 5 things I thought of!

God all alone to myself!

An Hour In The Garden

"He went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when evening was come, he was there alone" (Matt. 14:23).

 

The man Christ Jesus felt the need of perfect solitude--Himself alone, entirely by Himself, alone with Himself. We know how much intercourse with men draws us away from ourselves and exhausts our powers. The man Christ Jesus knew this, too, and felt the need of being by Himself again, of gathering all His powers, of realizing fully His high destiny, His human weakness, His entire dependence on the Father.

 

How much more does the child of God need this--himself alone with spiritual realities, himself alone with God the Father. If ever there were one who could dispense with special seasons for solitude and fellowship, it was our Lord. But He could not do His work or maintain His fellowship in full power, without His quiet time.

 

Would God that every servant of His understood and practiced this blessed art, and that the Church knew how to train its children into some sense of this high and holy privilege, that every believer may and must have his time when he is indeed himself alone with God. Oh, the thought to have God all alone to myself, and to know that God has me all alone to Himself! --Andrew Murray

God has given me butterflies!

What God has done in my heart to prepare me for China:

As i think about all that God has done to bring me to this place in my life
I stand in honest disbelief.

I don't understand it.

I have never been a part of something way beyond myself.

I am so amazed at my King.  Only He has the power to do this in me.

It has been a transformation, a slow process.  He knew exactly when certain events in my life
would need to take place to get me onto "His plan" for me to submit to go joyfully.  He knew the perfect timing for every little detail.

I keep praying for an increasing love for my Savior, and He is giving that to me.

I don't want to be just a "missionary" on assignment.  I want to be a "passionary".
I want the inner fire that Paul had and to be able to say joyfully, "I get to go to China
to share Jesus!"

When I am with my Lord and think upon everything He has done and is doing in me,
I get butterflies inside!  I get excited that He has made His desires, my desires.

This is how I can go to China, because of His work through me.

God's Gift of a Vacation

I am so thankful for God's perfect timing in everything.  Now I am especially thankful for His timing in our vacation in Seal Beach with Cara and her husband, Dan.  It has been an extremely busy summer both at work and at home and we are totally blessed to take a break in such a beautiful place that He has created!  It is wonderful not to have to get up to an alarm everyday, not to have to be anywhere at a specific time...aka no agenda.  Thank you LORD for this gift!  The fellowship, the time together with the LORD, the marveling at God's glorious creation, the fun, the laughter, the talks and especially seeing God move has been a treat for my heart! 

I have had the desire for awhile to not look ahead and to live fully right where I am.  I believe God is granting me that desire.  I'm sure this is because this is the true way He intends me to live!

Laughing At Growing Old!

I, along with many others, have been faced with many physical changes as I am "maturing" and I have made a decision:

I choose to laugh at myself....ALOT!

At work,  I was talking to my boss about my bursitis....BURSITIS! I don't know about you, but when I heard that word as a youngster I thought it was for old people.  Well,  I have it!  LOL

I also have an increase of multiple things:  

grey hair
thinning hair
some memory loss
some hearing loss
weight
age spots
poor vision
aches and pains
decreased sleep
gravity on the face
gravity on the body

BUT,  I can laugh at these temporary weird things happening.  There is no sense in battling against them or not welcoming them....they are present and they are a part of me.  I choose to laugh at myself and enjoy the freedom of being a part of this 50+ club for awhile.  I am thankful that God draws me to focus on the important things, not the things that are aging more rapidly than I am comfortable with.  I am thankful I have a husband that I laugh with almost everyday about the funny things that are going on with us!  

 It's only forgetting yourself that you draw near to God. -Henry David Thoreau

Life is Divine!

I WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT

DANIEL

Chapter 9 of the book of Daniel is powerful!

I am really studying this prayer of Daniel with a true desire to know his heart.

How did he love the Lord God?

How did he have such devotion?

How much love did He have for God?

I have in the past, leaned towards Paul and Moses...

but the Lord is introducing me to someone else that I need to know.

Daniel, a seeker of God

A prayer warrior

A man who repeatedly denied himself

A fervent God pursuer

An unselfish individual

A man of regular confession

A God depender

A God praiser

A humble man

An obedient soul

A righteous man

A prophesier and glorifier of His God!

His words are rich in the prayer of this chapter...

My heart cries out through reading and meditating on this passage:

I WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT!

I WANT TO BE A DANIEL.

GOD, my Teacher

The past two weeks have been very interesting for me...
Not full of dramatic events that would catch anyone else's eye...
But for me, God has taught me quite a bit!  And this is so interesting to me....

I have learned that it is better not to have expectations....
For more often than not, they will not be met....
Although with some that really love me....
They are met and go beyond, sometimes....

I have learned, in God's strength, that I HAVE to extend grace to others.....
EVEN when I don't feel like it.  (Really, how often do I feel like it)....
GOD covers me with grace every day of my life...
Do I deserve it? In a word, "NO!"
So if I want to follow Him, I must be His student and apply what I have learned....

I have learned that not everyone is appreciative....
This one is hard, because God has made me SO appreciative....
This is a sensitive area for me, but IT'S NOT ABOUT ME....
Do I appreciate ALL that GOD has done for me? ....
I think I have, but I AM POSITIVE I have not....

I have learned that just because you want a great relationship with someone,
doesn't mean that it will happen or that they even want that with you....

I have learned to "accept certain things that I cannot change"....
Isn't that a famous line from something?....

I have learned that on my road of sanctification somewhere....
God has done a work in me that I no longer choose to stay in hurt.....
This is big for me, I don't know how God did it.....
I can move past things that I feel have hurt me by others....
Quicker than I ever could before......
I am amazed.....

And the most important lesson of all that I have learned....
God is committed to my happiness in HIM....
That's where it lies...
He is not about making me happy with the things that I think will make me happy....
They are counterfeits....
He is the REAL DEAL!

It has been alot of learning....
Chewing on hard things....
I am believing Him for alot more teaching, but lately, this has been eye opening....

all for HIM!

Rescued Once Again

EPILOGUE TO THIS POST:


I still can't say enough
For what You've done for me
With this limited vocabulary
All I wanna do is let You know that You
You had the heart to change the heart of me
You took me to a love I never knew
On and on and on I go
With limited descriptive prose
And I give up 'cause I've said it all before

(Ben Glover)


I used some of the lyrics to Ben Glover's "26 Letters" to precede this post because I feel that my amazement of God is always leaving me speechless.  I cannot come up mere words that come close to describing who God is to me.....so I won't.  I will have to suffice to share what He did in my life yesterday.


I woke up in the morning totally BLUE.  A matter of self-pity dragging myself through the day.  Battling with thoughts as I prepared for work in the morning, as I worked at my job, as I toiled around the house in the afternoon, as I drove to prayer in the evening, as I prayed, and as I was returning home.  Then GOD rescued me!  I shared with my dear husband, who is so wonderful with me, how I have been struggling so much and he prayed over me and held me close.  I began to slowly feel distanced from my self-pity and I knew it was God's rescuing me.  He was not finished with me in this yet and the day had not ended.  A dear friend had given me the book "66 Love Letters" at prayer that night to read and Glenn and I read a chapter before bed. Glenn suggested we read the chapter on Joshua and, should I be surprised, it was the final way, that day, that God will let me know how much He cares for me.  It blew us away!  


You see one of the ways that I struggle most in my life is to not be near my children and my granddaughter. The evil one knows this and I have endured many battles in my mind on this subject.  Why did this happen? Why, when Glenn and I wanted more children and God closed the door - are the ones we have, so far away? Why do others have their children nearby and their grandchildren near them and I can only see mine a few times a year?  These and other questions have swarmed around in my mind many countless times and at the end of it, I am down for the count.


Well, last night, my GREAT GOD and LOVER of my soul spoke to me in a sweet way that literally found me speechless with joy!  In the chapter of Joshua, God reminded me that loving Him and being faithful to His plan requires HATING EVERYTHING IN ME that is opposed to Him, everything about me that wants someone or something besides JESUS to have first place in my life.  He reminded me that as I move toward Him, it will involve exhausting battle and humbling failure.  


My worst enemy is in me.  My tendency is to want what I want, MORE than what God wants and to think that it is okay with Him.  It isn't.  A spirit of entitlement and jealousy will plague me until I leave this world.  I need discernment to identify it, recognize it as wrong, and know how to navigate my way through it.  So I have begun this part of my journey and today is a better day.  I am not foolish enough to believe that it will never occur again...but my hope is that in God's strength, I will overcome this more than I will be defeated.  I am asking God to help me better understand this battle I need to fight within me and how to go about fighting it.  My desire is that HE WILL BE VICTORIOUS in me, as I humbly submit to HIS plan for my life.

NO LOOKING BACK

NO LOOKING BACK

I realized something phenomenal yesterday.
THE HOLY SPIRIT HAS LED ME TO A POINT OF NO LOOKING BACK.
if I can put what I am sensing into words,
IT IS THAT I HAVE PASSED THE POINT OF NO RETURN.
up unto this point I have had more days of fear and  weakness regarding going to China.
SLOWLY THE SPIRIT HAS BEEN HAVING HIS WAY IN ME
and on saturday I realized that I am having more days of courage and strength
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, JOY
in going to China and serving Him.
AS MY HUSBAND AND I PROCLAIMED TOGETHER
"we are thankful that we are able to live out our destiny by
DEPENDING FULLY ON GOD TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING
bigger than ourselves".
TO MAKE MUCH OF GOD TO CHINESE STUDENTS.
there are still days that I know satan will make me feel that I cannot do this.
BUT AS I SOAK MYSELF IN HIS WORD
and remain listening to Him at His feet,
I KNOW THAT I WILL CONTINUE TO HAVE MORE DAYS OF VICTORY
than defeat.
THE SPIRIT HAS DONE SUCH A WORK IN ME THAT I AM EAGER TO GO
most days it is so hard to wait.
I HAVE A LONGING TO GO BACK TO CHINA!
the Lord often reminds me that He has things for me yet to do here
AND HE OBVIOUSLY HAS MORE EQUIPPING FOR ME.
He continues to encourage with Christian fellowship of our American and Chinese friends.
WHILE LEARNING THE LANGUAGE
and gradually scaling down our stuff.
HE ALSO HAS AFFORDED US THE TIME TO SHARE OF WHAT HE IS DOING IN CHINA,
and gifts us with time to spend with those we love and and also those we love and want to see
COME TO A SAVING KNOWLEDGE OF HIM!

GOD'S TIMING IS PERFECT IN EVERYTHING!

walking by the Spirit

Lately, my thoughts and focus have mainly been on living in the Spirit.  The scripture in Galatians 5:25, "If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit", resonates in me.
Being reminded each day that I have the Spirit of God living in me absolutely humbles me and amazes me time and time again!  I am totally in awe of God's love in many, many ways...although this truth is positively the most compelling. 


So I am asking God each day to equip me to walk by His Spirit.  Asking Him to give me spiritual eyesight, spiritual hearing, spiritually keen sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I am waiting on Him and His perfect timing to speak in certain situations of relationships I treasure.  I am always asking Him for His strength in my "struggles in life".  I am totally depending on Him, to prepare me to JOYFULLY go to China
to impact those I will encounter, for Him!


I am also daily asking Him for the renewing and transforming of my mind.  Only by the Spirit working this in me can I break loose from the conformity of this world.  Offering myself as a living sacrifice to Him can only be done in the Spirit.  My mind is fallen, it has a bent - a mindset that is hostile to the Supremacy of God.  Not naturally seeing God as infinitely more praiseworthy than me.  My mind is not by nature a God-worshipping mind, it is by nature a self-worshipping mind.


So I have asked my God to ingrain in my soul and my mind the truth that I need to ask for daily renewing of the Holy Spirit.   That I will be radically dependent upon Him.  This is my only hope of desiring the Will of God.  My only hope of my life being worship to the glory of Christ!

Monday Moods (I'll second that!)

Today I am going to piggyback on my daughter's blog, The Marvelous Flight of Cara.  She inspired me today to be honest and real with what's going on inside of my heart and head today.


So ridiculously hard to get out of bed today.  Wasn't I just at work yesterday?  It sure feels like the weekend was just skipped over.  How can weekends go that FAST?  Really?


I too, am exhausted and sure you could guess that by just looking at me.  LOL
I too, am choosing to live the abundant life God is providing for me this side of Heaven.
I too, fall into that sinful trap of doubting the work of my King, and I know that I am mistakenly relying on my "untrusted", sinful emotions.
I want my daughter and son-in-law to have the marriage God purposes them to have and I am always going to be praying for that!  Just like I have for mine, all of these years.
I want them to also to not suffer, physically, every day of their life together.  Again, always praying for healing and relief AFTER God has had His way in them for His plan, while trusting Him. 
This week brings on a "yearly annual event" (yuck!) that I always dread.  Always relieved when it's done.
I have been listening to Matt Maher's "Empty and Beautiful" everyday, alot!  The words and peaceful music speak to my mind and to my heart so magnificently.
Relationships are work.  They take creativity, sensitivity, intensity, and vulnerability.  In healthy ones, the results are beautiful.
I like vanilla lattes...ALOT!
I struggle with being so separated from my daughter, son-in-law, son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter, especially before I relocate to China.
I also plan on being more creative, especially in my relationships.  Being more pro-active, more often, and listening more acutely to other's hearts.
I rejoice in the confidence that God is my victory, and that my God is alive and not dead!


Thank you daughter, for nudging me today!