I WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT

DANIEL

Chapter 9 of the book of Daniel is powerful!

I am really studying this prayer of Daniel with a true desire to know his heart.

How did he love the Lord God?

How did he have such devotion?

How much love did He have for God?

I have in the past, leaned towards Paul and Moses...

but the Lord is introducing me to someone else that I need to know.

Daniel, a seeker of God

A prayer warrior

A man who repeatedly denied himself

A fervent God pursuer

An unselfish individual

A man of regular confession

A God depender

A God praiser

A humble man

An obedient soul

A righteous man

A prophesier and glorifier of His God!

His words are rich in the prayer of this chapter...

My heart cries out through reading and meditating on this passage:

I WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT!

I WANT TO BE A DANIEL.

GOD, my Teacher

The past two weeks have been very interesting for me...
Not full of dramatic events that would catch anyone else's eye...
But for me, God has taught me quite a bit!  And this is so interesting to me....

I have learned that it is better not to have expectations....
For more often than not, they will not be met....
Although with some that really love me....
They are met and go beyond, sometimes....

I have learned, in God's strength, that I HAVE to extend grace to others.....
EVEN when I don't feel like it.  (Really, how often do I feel like it)....
GOD covers me with grace every day of my life...
Do I deserve it? In a word, "NO!"
So if I want to follow Him, I must be His student and apply what I have learned....

I have learned that not everyone is appreciative....
This one is hard, because God has made me SO appreciative....
This is a sensitive area for me, but IT'S NOT ABOUT ME....
Do I appreciate ALL that GOD has done for me? ....
I think I have, but I AM POSITIVE I have not....

I have learned that just because you want a great relationship with someone,
doesn't mean that it will happen or that they even want that with you....

I have learned to "accept certain things that I cannot change"....
Isn't that a famous line from something?....

I have learned that on my road of sanctification somewhere....
God has done a work in me that I no longer choose to stay in hurt.....
This is big for me, I don't know how God did it.....
I can move past things that I feel have hurt me by others....
Quicker than I ever could before......
I am amazed.....

And the most important lesson of all that I have learned....
God is committed to my happiness in HIM....
That's where it lies...
He is not about making me happy with the things that I think will make me happy....
They are counterfeits....
He is the REAL DEAL!

It has been alot of learning....
Chewing on hard things....
I am believing Him for alot more teaching, but lately, this has been eye opening....

all for HIM!

Rescued Once Again

EPILOGUE TO THIS POST:


I still can't say enough
For what You've done for me
With this limited vocabulary
All I wanna do is let You know that You
You had the heart to change the heart of me
You took me to a love I never knew
On and on and on I go
With limited descriptive prose
And I give up 'cause I've said it all before

(Ben Glover)


I used some of the lyrics to Ben Glover's "26 Letters" to precede this post because I feel that my amazement of God is always leaving me speechless.  I cannot come up mere words that come close to describing who God is to me.....so I won't.  I will have to suffice to share what He did in my life yesterday.


I woke up in the morning totally BLUE.  A matter of self-pity dragging myself through the day.  Battling with thoughts as I prepared for work in the morning, as I worked at my job, as I toiled around the house in the afternoon, as I drove to prayer in the evening, as I prayed, and as I was returning home.  Then GOD rescued me!  I shared with my dear husband, who is so wonderful with me, how I have been struggling so much and he prayed over me and held me close.  I began to slowly feel distanced from my self-pity and I knew it was God's rescuing me.  He was not finished with me in this yet and the day had not ended.  A dear friend had given me the book "66 Love Letters" at prayer that night to read and Glenn and I read a chapter before bed. Glenn suggested we read the chapter on Joshua and, should I be surprised, it was the final way, that day, that God will let me know how much He cares for me.  It blew us away!  


You see one of the ways that I struggle most in my life is to not be near my children and my granddaughter. The evil one knows this and I have endured many battles in my mind on this subject.  Why did this happen? Why, when Glenn and I wanted more children and God closed the door - are the ones we have, so far away? Why do others have their children nearby and their grandchildren near them and I can only see mine a few times a year?  These and other questions have swarmed around in my mind many countless times and at the end of it, I am down for the count.


Well, last night, my GREAT GOD and LOVER of my soul spoke to me in a sweet way that literally found me speechless with joy!  In the chapter of Joshua, God reminded me that loving Him and being faithful to His plan requires HATING EVERYTHING IN ME that is opposed to Him, everything about me that wants someone or something besides JESUS to have first place in my life.  He reminded me that as I move toward Him, it will involve exhausting battle and humbling failure.  


My worst enemy is in me.  My tendency is to want what I want, MORE than what God wants and to think that it is okay with Him.  It isn't.  A spirit of entitlement and jealousy will plague me until I leave this world.  I need discernment to identify it, recognize it as wrong, and know how to navigate my way through it.  So I have begun this part of my journey and today is a better day.  I am not foolish enough to believe that it will never occur again...but my hope is that in God's strength, I will overcome this more than I will be defeated.  I am asking God to help me better understand this battle I need to fight within me and how to go about fighting it.  My desire is that HE WILL BE VICTORIOUS in me, as I humbly submit to HIS plan for my life.